On a campus community of more than 35,000 people, we will all encounter different perspectives, behaviors, and beliefs with everyone we meet. Disagreements will happen as we spend time with one another, whether it’s a roommate, friend, classmate, or professor. Conflict is an inevitable part of every relationship of value. Most people think of conflict as a negative thing, but healthy conflict can result in growth, learning, and a stronger relationship with the other person. While being in conflict can be uncomfortable and challenging, there are ways to develop skills in having difficult conversations and resolving conflicts with others.  

Here are some basic tips for addressing and resolving conflict: 

1. Talk with the other person. Share your thoughts and feelings and allow the other person to do the same.  
2. Find a time to talk that works for each person when emotions about the situation have eased or deescalated.  
3. Listen to what the other person is saying, avoiding the temptation to interrupt or forming a response to what they are sharing. Work to understand their point of view.  
4. When sharing, speak from your own perspective. Use “I Statements” to acknowledge your own thoughts and feelings about the situation.  
5. Work to seek agreement with the other person.  
6. Know your conflict resolution style and how you tend to approach these situations.  

Conflict Coaching  

If you are experiencing a conflict and want to learn ways you can resolve the conflict yourself, or you’re just looking to grow your conflict resolution skills, conflict coaching may be for you. Conflict Coaching is a private meeting to strategize and practice having difficult conversations, discuss conflict styles, and tips for communication to deescalate a tense situation. To learn more about conflict coaching, or to schedule a meeting, contact the Office of Student Conduct at 859-257-3755 or studentconduct@uky.edu.